INDUSTRY RELATED: Conversation Topics for the Socially Anxious

Conversation Topics for the Socially Anxious

Nov 22, 2024

Industry Related is a weekly newsletter to unmask and straight-talk brand comms, from a multi-national, award-winning team that's worked with Airbnb, Diageo, The Eames Institute, Kartell, Harry's, and Savile Row, to name just a few.

Amy reporting here today from London where it’s 46F/8C, the Christmas lights are on on Savile Row and Regent Street, and we’ve just held our first two events of the season. With the festivities back in full swing, we thought it would be helpful to give you all a leg up on navigating holiday parties with a few tips gleaned from media training.

CONVERSATION TOPICS FOR THE SOCIALLY ANXIOUS

One common misconception about PRs is that we’re all social butterflies. Much to my chagrin, these days it seems many a candidate graduating from university and on the hunt for a job seems to be under the impression that they are uniquely qualified for the profession solely by being the former social chair of their sorority with the ability to chat mindlessly for hours. I’m here today to dispel the myth.

In my opinion, what actually makes a great PR is a talented wordsmith - not just one who can write creatively but possesses the ability to get to the point effectively and efficiently - a creative, nimble mind that can find story angles and solve problems on the fly, and a surgical attention to detail. Most of us who excel in the industry are more comfortable being the Cyrano de Bergerac to our clients than being in the limelight ourselves, and are often quite anxious in social situations where we need to undertake conversation sans client or team.

This tendency makes the onslaught of the holiday season and its related festivities rather a daunting undertaking, as often these invitations are the ole personal, non-transferable. We tout to our clients the importance of personal connection and, of course, understand the significance of showing up for those whom we want to show up for us. So in preparation for these anxiety-producing moments of walking into a room with not a familiar face in sight, we’ve gathered some tips from professional media training, alongside a few conversation topics to ease our collective pain.

TIPS GLEANED FROM PROFESSIONAL MEDIA TRAINERS

So before we get into chat, let’s start with your entrance. Be sure your stance is open - meaning chin-up, shoulders back, survey the room, and if you catch someone’s eye do the simplest, yet most counterintuitive move for the socially anxious, SMILE. You don’t have to freak them out with something resembling the joker, just an authentic pleasant upward turn of the lips will suffice.

Remember more than half of what you communicate is non-verbal so do your best to quiet Chicken Little and present yourself with confidence. Walk tall and head straight to the bar (we’re giving you openers here, but a little sharpener never hurts). Take a sip and survey the room for your target - the human you approach for conversation numero uno. Look for those standing alone or in small, informal groups that look like they are comprised of humans who just met each other as well.

Now we’re off to the races!

OPENERS

Start with introducing yourself - and how you know the host. For example, “Hi, I’m Amy with Alpha Kilo. I work with the CMO on exec comms”. From there, dive into simple, yet authentic topics. Nothing that will ruffle feathers or alienate your new audience. Here are a few of our favourites - fairly basic but openers are openers. You just need your foot in the door at this point and can dazzle your new friends later.

How do you know «the host»?
It’s absolutely FREEZING. When did it get so frigid?
This venue is stunning. Is it me or does it remind you of a scene from «insert relatable movie or series»?

Other good openers include AUTHENTIC compliments, but we do recommend sticking with general apparel like “I love your dress. Where do you find the best formalwear? I’m always hunting around last minute in a dash”. See how we didn’t dive into labels or fit. I also think telling a man he looks dapper always hits.

Now from there, lean into the role of interviewer - ask questions and LISTEN to responses. My favourite way of enduring an evening with a room full of unknowns is extracting information from one I’ve just met and then introducing them to the next new kid on the block. Then they can take off chatting and I can enjoy my drink, smile, and listen to them drone on.

THE GOOD STUFF

Now you’re seated and probably stuck in for at least an hour with two relatively unknowns, so here are some conversation topics to see you through. Again, listening is a power play. Ask questions. Alpha Kilo T-Shirt Logo #3 - interested makes for interesting. Here are some topics you can prepare in advance.

MOROCCO - it seems to be on everyone’s hot list so whether or not you’ve been there, it’s a great conversation topic. Other hot spots for 2025 are Transylvania (you heard it here first) and KwaZulu-natal. Who doesn’t love to chat about travel stories
GLADIATOR 2 - whilst Mel Gibson might be slightly controversial, everyone seems to have an opinion on this one at the moment and probably has seen the original so there’s that…
COLOUR OF THE YEAR - it’s Future Dusk, whatever the hell that is, but as a conversation topic it has legs - do people care, follow, what would be their preference, etc. etc.
THE RETIREMENT OF NADAL - rumour has it he’s going into hospitality. (Wait. What?) I’m sure you can find something to run with there
STEPHEN KING’S LATEST YOU LIKE IT DARKER - even if they haven’t read it, it starts you down a wonderful path of latest favourites and great recommendations
SKIING - in my opinion, it’s back in full force after a few miserable years where its annoying younger brother (snowboarding) hogged the spotlight. Reference Chanel, Thom Browne, and of course, Moncler’s runway shows dedicated to the sport
FUN FACTS: Octopuses have three hearts, two of which stop beating when they swim - and wombats poop in cubes. It prevents it from rolling away so they can mark their territory. Maybe not the best dinnertime chat, but a belter for a drinks party.
GHOST STORIES: An Alpha Kilo favourite for a dark night or anytime someone comes to Number 11
PLUTO MOVING INTO AQUARIUS: For the first time in 200 years, Pluto is entering Aquarius signifying transformations in areas of social change, innovation, and group dynamics. The good news is it’s meant to bring more collaborative, forward-thinking ways of living and relating to one another. So BOOM you have hit astrology and optimism in one go.
PETS: For when you want to eat your meal or drink your drink in relative peace whilst someone else deep dives into the complex personality traits and (not so) hilarious exploits of their Pom-Chi

DON’T TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT

As always, don’t just take our word for it. Jenny Gore, partner at the crisis comms masterminds FGS Global tells us “Message Discipline applies - like, for media interviews we talk about having a set of 3-4 key messages you always go back to (regardless of question). In this instance, it’s having 3-4 topics, anecdotes, or stories that you can pull from if there’s a lull - which is literally what I do bc I’m socially anxious!!” (Editor’s Note: I personally love the “regardless of question” in there. Reminds me of Uncle Colm in Derry Girls. See above.)

Good luck and Godspeed!

We’d love to hear from you on your tips for making an entrance, interesting conversation topics, and anything else this article springs to mind.

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